The Pursuit of Happiness

Remember the Will Smith show? The person who came up with this phrase, Thomas Jefferson, how did he know that it is a pursuit? That happiness may be something so abstract and fleeting that we can never really have it, but what we can do is to only pursue it.

The Past

I have been very lucky and blessed to be able to write this in retrospect. What have I achieved?

I have been given opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. Back at M-bank, several factors were favorable, several were not; as with every legend, there is light and there is darkness. Isaac and my colleagues are the light, the money rolling in, it is all very positive. Dawn our protege was sprightly, smart and cheery, and our strong friend and ally. However, when people begin to focus on the negative instead of otherwise, you can always almost certainly find flaws. I have never seen any negative action that brought about a positive change. XBoss tried simply too hard and he is a pretty damn fucking negative guy in everything. No pats on the backs. Nothing. Not that me or Isaac is asking for it, but it would be preferred over hell meetings where we burn young colleagues who just joined us on a stake. To him, this is a battlefield, and he trusts no one. As a result, an environment of deep suspicion and mistrust is constructed, contrary to what he wills for.I have maintained my positivity for the past year, and of course ensured that none of these crap interfered with my commissions and wealth.

However, it did disgust me when a young grad like Dawn was not given any chances or allowances, though I know she is doing her very best and already an excellent sales person at her age.More importantly , some of our colleagues had deliberately influenced the guile XBoss's opinion, and thereafter it was crash and burn for her, even though she was indeed a great help to us. XBoss was simply utilising too much politics to contribute tohis own demise.Thereafter, with Dawn gone, morale fell.

My decision to leave behind the fat commissions, the loving colleagues( who sometimes put one or two daggers into your vetebrae, but I can live with tt) and the excellent location was two-prong.

1> I wanted to the core of the cell walls of every one of my blood cells to move to a higher level than retail. The choices are : Biz Development Mgr, Priority Banker, Junior Pvte Banker and Branch Mgr. Of these , Branch mgr is the least attractive cos of the things I see XBoss do. I think it is a position that is in still waters.Reason being the movement and progression will still be within retail, and even after those years , you will still not fit into Pvt.

2> A positive work energy enlivens and motivates better than any training.I wanted to have a role to be building on that energy, not constantly destroying it. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have the capability and cut for it.

The Present

Before my final interview I was in a strange stroke of luck presented with the notion of Kaizen, the sword of past and present in Zen teachings. You take the sword, and you use it to severe the past and the future, and take out the trash. What is the trash? It is anything that prevents you from being wholely in the present. So in my final interview, my sword had done its work. I was completely in my own presence of now. In deep gratitude which shall carry me in the shining days to come , I was helped by a mentor, Robin , who recognised my glimmer and gave me the chance to push forth. " You are a diamond , Kenny, now we just gotta polish you up" Whoever told us what we are not to be? How many people will step in to remind you that you are all you can be? My god sis, ML, helped to pull me through the anxiety stage of the interview with her cool objective analysis. Isaac took the brunt of my calls when I was staring blankly at the sea, lost for direction. I am where I want to be , now. For brief and fleeting moments, I can sometimes see what it is to be happy, to be working hard and performing at what you love, and to have the appreciation of experienced people who have seen this before. The glimmer of things. For we all begin as Diamonds.